This article is from Estately, a real estate sales blog. A little taunting for those unfortunates who don’t live here yet.
13 Reasons You Should NEVER Move to Bainbridge Island
At first glance, Bainbridge Island appears to be a fantastic place to live. It has beautiful scenery, great schools, low crime, friendly people, and it’s only a short ferry ride from Seattle. It’s no wonder so many people want to move there. However, few people know of the horrors that come with Bainbridge Island living. If you, or someone you love, are considering moving to Bainbridge Island, you’d best read this and then get back on the ferry and return to the mainland.
SEA LIONS THAT BARK ALL NIGHT
Looking to move out of the city for some peace and quiet? Maybe to a little island where you can hear the waves gently lapping at the shore? Well, hope you like the sounds of flatulent sea lions barking all hours of the night from their offshore buoys. BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! It’s like living across the street from a sea lion frat house during rush week.
YOUR NOVEL WILL REMAIN UNPUBLISHED
Even if you corner him at the bakery, even if you beg and plead, local PEN/Faulkner Award-winning author David Guterson isn’t going to read your novel. In fact, the likelihood of him offering feedback on your vampire-themed thriller is equal to the likelihood of snow falling on cedars in Hell.
NO ONE WILL EVER VISIT YOU
The first time your friends get overloaded on the ferry will also be the last time they come to visit you on Bainbridge. And the first time you leave a Seattle dinner party early so you don’t miss the ferry they will cross you off the guest list forever. Moving to Bainbridge means abandoning your city friends, and eventually it’s just going to be you and your cats… until…
If the coyotes don’t get your cat then one of the many fiendish raccoons will. And just to really rub it in they’ll also tip over your garbage cans, harass your dog, and then sneak in the doggy door and clean out the dog bowl.
Bainbridge Island is 27 square miles, roughly the same size as Manhattan (33.7 square miles), but with considerably less amenities. Despite their similar size, Manhattan has 368 times more sushi restaurants, 163 times more pizza places, and 134 times more cinemas. It’s just so desolate on Bainbridge. Don’t move there.
THE ISLAND DRESS CODE
Photo Source: Bay Hay & Feed
Within one year you will adopt the dress code of your fellow Islanders and appear in public wearing Crocs, Carhartts, and a sweatshirt purchased from the local feed store. You will grow to love this style. Your children will adopt it as well. There will be no going back.
But wait! There’s more. Read the rest of the article here.